Jeannine

Stories

I surrender

I surrender to

the Turmoil and Anguish

the Ceaseless Chatter turning Circles in my head

 

I surrender to

the Unexpected, Long and Brutal Fall

the Physical Pain calls my Name as I Stagger, Struggling to Stand

in this Moment, I concentrate on my Breathlessness

as I was left Gasping for Sweet Air

 

I surrender to

The Iron suit, the Red cape, the painted Mask

For my tears can no longer be stifled, as I destroy the Costume of Bravery

The Wounds that somehow remain Open from yesterday’s Past

 

I surrender to

The Frustration that Burns and Blinds my Sight

the Darkness whereupon my Eyes had once reflected Light

in this Moment I realize because I Stand too closely

I cannot See

 

I surrender to

The Fear that Follows my every Move

The Expectation that Looms high, too High, above my Head

the Approval which Lies just out of Reach’s Way

 

I surrender to

Plans set by some sort of Fancy Imagination

as Mirages they appear only to Crumble

as I draw Closer

 

I surrender to

the Invisible yet Crushing Force on my shoulders

I bid Fare-well to the Weightlessness my Feet once Felt, like Walking on Air

And I make Space for the Fatigue that has made a permanent Home within my Body and my Blood

 

I surrender to

The aching Longing for that which I do Not have

to the medals, the trophies, the certificates, articles, diplomas – Illusions

of what I have done

Fotos of “the way I used to be”

 

I surrender to

The Mind-Altering Poison of my Senses and my Emotions

The Luster of Gold, the Smell of Wine, the Taste of Honey, the Shape of the pill

Do they offer Salvation?

 

I surrender to

Ambiguity – Giving it Power is Fruitless

Impatience – My longest Marathon yet

this Race having no Winner

 

I surrender to

the Crowds of People

Chaotically attempting to Pull me “Their Way”

Creating lines of Judgement

and Silently Destroying the very Unity of which I Seek

 

I surrender to

Confusion, Blame, Jealousy, the Hurt, the Search

 

I DO NOT surrender

through Weakness nor Giving up

I need no Weapon, I need no Book

I do not need to take Action

the Fear Finally Fades

 

I surrender through GRACE

Grace found in the One and Only True God

the Omnipresent Divinity

in All that my eyes can See

as well as what they Cannot

 

I Align my Self with the Golden Thread who connects us All

having No Beginning and No End

I am part of this

it is Now I begin to Live

to Just Be

 

I surrender gaining Freedom

With Patience, Peace, and Purity

the Truest Expression of God’s Love

in Utmost Bliss

God Eternally Lives within Me and I within Him

 

 

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